It Was Never Her Choice (I Would Had Do It Anyways)
by LukePoiz
Summary: I decide to look for something to distract myself ... Seeing him peacefully 'sleep' next to me, made me recall how this was, well, possible. I never will or could forget the time when he was converted. I clearly remembered every second of the time when…


**Days like today, my favorite days, when I would be able to just wake up by your side were without a doubt my favorites.**

 **I was used by now, Si, had this weird habit to wake up but keep still just to don't start his day. He could reply to my out loud spoken thoughts and then ignore me and kept frozen the second I suggested some thing near to getting out of bed.**

 **As many others days I would be the first to wake up, I was about to move from where I was but my arm was pressed by Simon to the mattress and without knowing if he was trying to cast a joke on me or really sleeping I decide to keep still. He was trying so hard to adjust his sleep time so I didn't want to disturb him.**

 **I decide to look for something to distract myself, I started by contemplating him. Sometimes still was hard to believe that he didn't had the whole hotel (and the mundane world too) over him, he was simply beautiful. There wasn't another word to describe him. Also, was hard to believe how low his self-esteem was, even before our relationship started he could never bare any of my complaints because he thought we was "unworthy" of them, let alone the time I asked him out, he left the room, yelling that it was the worst prank someone had ever tried to cast on him. Things got better with time tho.**

 **Seeing him peacefully 'sleep' next to me, made me recall how this was, well, possible. I never will or could forget the time when he was converted. I clearly remembered every second of the time when I carried him on my arms as…**

" _ **I didn't have another option. I carried you on my arms, when I took you away from Camille. You were heavier back then or maybe I was just so worried about you that everything required a further effort".**_

" _ **I wasn't sure of how to proceed, I just knew that I had to take you with them, specifically with her, the Shadowhunter that is your best friend, you weren't nothing mine at time, even if I wanted".**_

" _ **I appeared in front of the institute, you still on my arms, didn't want you anywhere else, they didn't and shouldn't know that. I knew that their sensors would detect me as soon as I entered their perimeter so I just kept walking into the institute till they came out to 'greet' me".**_

" _ **Didn't took that long. One second we were out, the next one, I was -opposite to my will- putting you on a hardwood table inside the institute's basement".**_

" _ **They tried to interrogate me, some of them even accused me for what Camille did to you. Even if it was my fault at some point and I still couldn't forgive myself for that but if that didn't happened you wouldn't be here with me so I will have to say that I'm not as sorry as I should be".**_

" _ **I gotta admit that I felt hurt when they thought that I was one who did hurt Lewis. Little did they knew at that time. I could never hurt you even if I wanted to. I was already starting to like the noisy human I was coaxed to kidnap".**_

" _ **I told them, Clary specifically, "her" options, to end with your life for good at the moment or to have me to convert you into one of us, a vampire. It wasn't an easy conversation by any means, but I felt right to let her 'choose' since she was the one you were closest at that moment in this world".**_

" _ **When she finally made up her mind into a decision and told me that she decide to convert you rather than having you die, I won't lie, I wasn't that happy for a long time but at the same time a part of me felt sorry for you, you'll become one of us with all the bad and horrible things that incurred but then again, I wasn't as sorry as I should be, having you becoming a vampire meant that you'll need training and no one better to train you than me, so more time with you".**_

" _ **It never was her choice, I have to tell you".**_

" _ **Even if she decided to end your mundane life, I was ready to kidnap you again. That would have been complicated but was worth the pain. In the short time I had of meeting you I just knew I had to keep you alive if you what I needed to keep you with me was that I was more than ready for it".**_

" _ **I had never felt that. Never for anyone before you. It was such a weird feeling that just drove me into you and the more I tried to ignore it, the stronger it will, well, did become. So yeah, never her choice. I was willing to have the whole Shadowhunter army as enemies if that meant to have you".**_

" _ **You were so special, so different to everyone I had ever met in my life".**_

" _ **Till today I don't even know what it is and maybe it isn't something and is just the way you are".**_

" _ **I'm so glad to have you with me, I'm so glad I was able to take you away from Camille, I'm so glad that Clary decided to convert you even if wasn't her choice after all, I'm so glad that I was able to spend more time of our lives with you, I'm so glad you felt in love with me, in the way I did with you a long time ago… I'm not usually someone to be grateful for things, but you Simon make me remember why I was catholic bef—".**_

 **I suddenly stop to talk, to talk? When did I started to? That was a habit I was trying to reduce. Something watery on my arm, the one that was under my vampire, made realize that I was thinking out loud again.**

" _ **Si? Simon are you awake? Why are you crying?"**_ **I said this time moving my arm away from under his body to tuck him into a hug.** " _ **Hey, I'm here, you're okay, were you having a nightmare?"**_ **I asked suddenly worried that maybe they did come back, he had a few episodes before, some worse than others but still.**

" _ **Y-y-es, I am… In fa-fact, never been better"**_ **He said when I loosen up the hug and Simon was able to look at me.** " _ **That's always good to know, but may I know why were you crying my dear?"**_ **I replied, still worried.**

" _ **I was listening to you the whole time Raph… I always wanted to know how I did happen but didn't have the courage to ask you about it"**_ **He said, a genuine smile forming on his lips, and then continued,** " _ **I'm glad it occurred. I'm also glad and grateful for everything you had done for me and I really meant that. Never felt sorry for anything, if that had to occur for us to be together as we are now. It was worth the price".**_ **Now the smile was on those of mine.**

" **I love you, Simon. Always did. Always will".**

" **I love you too, Santiago. That won't change".**


End file.
